Good God! What The Hell Is This?!

You've landed on the blog cross section of my two careers: film / tv /stage acting and voice over hoopla. Sometimes I veer off the road into gadfly-ism or schmaltz. Mostly I play with my belly button and pretend it's someone else's finger. - D.C. Douglas

Albert Wesker Answers Your Phone For Charity

blog Wesker Albert Wesker Answers Your Phone For Charity

Albert Wesker has heard you. And he’s answered… your phone!

Below are the winners of the Albert Wesker voicemail competition.  They were chosen for a combination of popular votes and what tickled me.  I am also including a few ringtones, too.  But, you can only download them if you abide by the following rules:

ONE. You do not attempt to sell them to anyone.
(This is uncool and also illegal.)

TWO. You figure out how to install them without emailing me!
(I have to live my life, baby!)

And the last and most important rule:

THREE. You balance out the horror Wesker has caused by donating whatever you can to a charity of your choice ($1, $5, $50 – whatever works for you).  You can even do it in Albert Weskers name!  Imagine if all the fans did this?  Could get some media attention… Maybe even resurrect Wesker? (I’m a dreamer…)

Again, if you download these greetings,
please donate to a charity!

I love Doctors Without Borders.  I also love Kiva, though that’s not charity, it’s micro-lending, which is a long-term solution.  Perhaps you have one you really love?  Feel free to suggest it to folks in the comments area.  Here is a comprehensive list: Charity Navigator.

And now for the winners!
[Note:  Some scripts were slightly modified because I'm a prima dona.]

Mr. $miley

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Gretchen Wesker

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Wesker Cosplayer

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

z.t.l.fire

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Garrett Brown

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Mrs. Albert Wesker
(my personal fav)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

And Ringtones:

Kristen

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Mel
(requires knowing Lady GaGa…
Just so strange I had to do it.)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Bonus Ringtone

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

If you agree to the rules above
(don’t forget #3 – donate!)
you can download all of these in a zipped file:

download all Albert Wesker Answers Your Phone For Charity

So, there you have it! My thanks to you guys for being so cool to me over the last two years!  And remember that the secret to Wesker is that he [static] with a [static] while Excella lights a [static]… Wait… Oh, I think I’m losing you… Can you hear me now? What abou- [click]

The video winner was announced here:
Albert Wesker Caught On Camera!

And for those too lazy to explore the rest of the website, you might like this:

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