The Actor had been storming castles in Hollywood for over twenty years. He had crossed many a moat and even made it inside the foyer every now and then. Victory was always short-lived and he was usually killed. Head on a pike. Another career dry spell.
The Actor recently had been saved by a renaissance agent who called him on the telephone and acquired auditions for him. It was a bizarre and new experience. An experience The Actor was tempted to undermine by pretending he was only a “guest star” actor and refusing smaller roles. The Agent laughed. Hard.
“That’s so cute.” he said through a wry crinkle in his mouth, “but seriously, you wanna work, right?”
The Agent had a point. The Actor’s resume was a list of dearly departed television shows. Only one credit was still alive, yelling in a weak voice from the parchment that the actor hadn’t yet retired and, yes, his career was that slow.
The Actor needed to put on his pasties and start workin’ it.
The Actor arrived on the set of his third “no small parts only small actors” job he had booked through The Agent. He was ready to feel like a glorified extra and had prepared a bitter attitude just for the occasion. However, he was foiled at every turn by unrelenting nice people.
The show was called Castle and appeared on the alphabet network. Nathan Fillion was The Star and introduced himself with a handshake. His hand was large, warm and engulfed The Actor’s hand. The Star made eye contact and said, “I’m Nathan Filion.”
The Actor, still stuck within his “bitter-bit-player-for-a-day” scenario, just said “I know.”
“And you are?” The Star asked.
“Dammit,” thought The Actor, “he’s too damn nice!”
The Actor gave in. He even began smiling at everyone. He joked with the AD and the costumer. He complimented The Guest Star on his acting. When it was time to film his scene, the cameras were focused on The Stars first, then The Guest Star. The Actor would be the last to be covered on camera. But he didn’t mind. Even though he had two lines, he would enjoy the rehearsal of them… Ad nauseum. 27 times to be exact.
The cameras finally turned to capture The Actor’s well-rehearsed lines. The Director called action and The Actor burst into the room and uttered very authoritative gibberish. 27 times he had been perfect. 28th time? Not so much.
“I like to save my mistakes for when they really count,” The Actor joked. The Stars laughed.
As The Actor walked back to his dressing room he was surprised by a meandering thought in his mind…
It really doesn’t matter if I’m Gypsy Rose Lee or a chorus girl… I just like putting on the pasties…
It was a warm and comforting thought. Like shaking hands with Nathan Fillion.
. . .
Noo i missed it!! your amazing!!!
Thank you, but fear not! There's a video clip at the end of the post!
Good Job! Hope you get more roles in the future.
Thanks. You and me both! If I don't, my 20 year career is dead!
I missed it too. I wish I can tell work, "Sorry I can't come work when D.C. Douglas is on."
Sorry I missed this I was busy NOT actually getting arrested – but I'll call DC Douglas when I need a lawyer
Arrested?! Intriguing… Where's your blog post about THAT?!
Not a Castle fan. Hate the idea of a writer/detective living with his mother…yutch but enjoyed the clip… Good delivery … "we're done here"…smug and superior…very lawyer like.
It is obvious you are not a Castle Fan with a statement like that. The truth is Castle being such a big hearted guy allows his Mother to live with him after she was swindled out of her own money. But if you watched the show you would know that.
Thanks!
Very cool story and oool scene!
I didn't even know you were on the show. It's the second time I've watched an episode and
I was so surprised that I yelled, "Hey, look! It's my son. Yeah! It's him!" To which your step-father replied, "I'd like to hear the end of the show, if you don't mind." You were a perfect ass of a lawyer (very similar to your step-father I might add). Love you darling!!!
Hee!
Nicely done, as usual. And shooting your coverage at an up-angle was brilliant. Nobody would ever know you're really 5'4".
And putting me in a suit really helped hide my man boobs. They're VERY good.
Not a fan of Castle and thought that you only had a walk on part, no speaking, so didn't get to see it on Monday . . . it interferred with Hawaii 50, so caught it "On Demand" after bingo on Tuesday night. Your Mother was right, you were the perfect ass hole, but then again, thats acting. Good job!
Believe me, I'd love to get on Hawaii 5-0 just for the location shoot! Glad you liked me, though. And, btw, this is the first blog post both you and mom have commented on at the same time! Like a little reunion of sorts!
Nicely delivered– I missed it as well :$
As always, though, your wit is appreciated.